Your love wants to get married, but you’re not ready to get married for some reason. For example, there is a dream that has not been achieved, is still focused on pursuing a career, job status is still unclear, not sure about him/her, or indeed there is no intention to get there (married).
So that you are not considered by him/her as a temporary stop, then pay attention to changes in your love’s passive aggressive attitude in his relationship so that you can take the right action.
What is an example? Your love talks a lot about marriage, living together, even talking about plans to have children. When you two attended a friend’s wedding, suddenly your love commented on the wedding decorations, the clothes worn by the bride, and asked your opinion on who was invited.
When your love has shown a passive attitude to marriage invitations, but you are not sensitive. Your love will use an aggressive attitude by asking directly about when you are certain to be ready for married. Usually you will be confused by this question.
How to deal with your love wants to get married, but you’re not ready to get married by asking him/her to discuss so you know what the reason is
To invite your love to discuss him/her desire to get married. Choose the right time and talk one-on-one honestly (openly) about the topic of marriage. Try to see why your love wants to get married.
Is it the love’s own wishes, pressure from his/her parents, jealousy to see his/her friends are married, your love’s age is not young anymore, or has it been a long time since you two have been dating.
Especially you’re getting married, but your love aren’t ready to get married.
Don’t rush to force him/her to marry you. Ask how his or her view of life is compatible with yours or not according to your boundaries (what makes you not want to choose him/her to be your partner).
Then, understand what the reason for your love’s answer is “Don’t want to get married yet” when you ask if he/she’s ready to get married. If your love’s answer is “I don’t know” it means that he/she is being honest or confused about the future of his/her relationship.
Your love is not able to give certainty to his/her future relationship, so you have to act decisively by giving him/her time or letting him/her go. Your love’s attitude can’t give certainty to your relationship, that’s a negative indication of a relationship.
Keep reading: He is Financially Ready for Married and Start a Family
3 ways to deal with your love wants to get married, but you’re not ready to get married rather than your household falling apart after marriage
1. Discuss in a relaxed manner while giving a firm answer
What does it mean? Your love deserves to know what the goals and clarity of your long-term relationship are. You can explain how you feel that is the reason you don’t want to get married at this time. Tell your reasons honestly and clearly that you have plans to get married, but not in the near future.
Make it clear you have plans that you currently want to pursue before getting married. For example, you are focusing on pursuing a career first, growing your business first, preparing to take part in promotion training, and etc.
Also tell your love after marriage your focus is family and household happiness. Let your love know what your current goals are so that he/she doesn’t feel like his relationship is hanging with you.
2. Ask for a love’s compromise, there is something to be prepared before marriage
Simply put, you ask for his/her understanding that marriage takes time, energy, and a lot of money. Say you have to prepare physically and mentally before deciding to marry him/her.
Talk heart to heart with your love if you don’t want to lose him/her. You can ask him/her for help to prepare so that your wedding plans can run smoothly, for example saving together for the wedding.
Tell your feelings honestly and openly what you think. You don’t just focus on thinking about the D-day of the wedding, such as holding a wedding party, but also supporting household life after marriage.
3. If your love can’t wait, then leave
If your love can’t understand why you’re not ready to get married, or he/she can’t wait, but always forces you to marry him/her. Don’t force yourself to hold on for reasons of love or have been dating for a long time.
It needs to be understood, marriage has an element of compulsion that can have an effect on a harmonious household which has an impact on children’s mental health. A healthy marriage relationship, you have no right to force him/her to wait for you. Your love also has no right to force you to marry him/her.
The healthiest decision is to let go of your love to choose someone who is ready to marry him/her. You also have the option to improve yourself in the future until you are ready to start a household.
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