5 Ethical Ways to Practice Polygamy (Inara Rusli Case)

The unfolding narrative of the Inara Rusli case offers more than just public intrigue; it provides a profound psychological lesson on marital justice. When a husband chooses nikah siri (unregistered marriage) without the first wife’s knowledge, he is engaging in a form of emotional bypass.

From a psychological perspective, this clandestine behavior—as revealed by Wardatina Mawa regarding Insanul Fahmi’s intentions—stems from an avoidant approach to conflict. To find the ethical way to practice polygamy, one must move beyond the whispers of secrecy and return to the sobering reality of justice.

The Theological Emergency Exit: Understanding Surah An-Nisa 3

As Wardatina Mawa correctly noted, Surah An-Nisa verse 3 functions as an “Emergency Exit”—a restrictive measure meant to limit chaos, not to encourage domestic betrayal. The Quranic mandate is clear: if there is a fear of committing injustice (Takut Mendzolimi), then “only one” is required. Philosophically, this suggests that monogamy is the only ethical refuge when absolute equity cannot be guaranteed.

The 5 Pillars of Ethical Practice

Drawing from the complexities of the Inara Rusli case, here are the five pillars required for a union to be both spiritually and psychologically sound:

1. Prioritize Logic Over Biological Impulse

A wife is the architect of the home. She can discern when a husband’s desire for polygamy is rooted in Sakinah or merely the fleeting dopamine of a new romance. An ethical way to practice polygamy requires the psychological maturity to lead, not just the desire to possess.

2. Mastery of Current Leadership

Leadership begins with the mastery of the first marriage. If the rights of the first wife—both material and emotional—are neglected, a husband has no moral standing to seek a second. You cannot build a new wing on a house whose foundation is already crumbling.

3. The Courage of Radical Transparency

A man of quality does not hide his intentions. The ethical approach involves introducing the prospective second wife to the first so they can understand each other’s personalities. Secrecy is the antithesis of true marital leadership and often creates a domestic “hell” rather than a sanctuary.

4. The Rejection of Nikah Siri as a Shortcut

As seen in the Inara Rusli case, nikah siri is a betrayal of the Mitsaqan Ghaliza (the strong covenant) as mentioned in Surah An-Nisa verse 21. Without legal state recognition, the second wife is stripped of her rights to inheritance and joint property. Furthermore, such a status is vulnerable to being sued by the legal first wife as a criminal act of adultery.

5. Absolute Adherence to State Law

The only “Sah and Legal” ethical way to practice polygamy is through the Religious Court. Under Articles 4 and 5 of the Marriage Act, as well as Article 56 of the Compilation of Islamic Law (KHI), a husband must obtain:

Consent from the first wife.
Permission from the Religious Court.
A guarantee of financial capability and a certainty of just treatment for all wives and children.

The court only grants permission if the first wife cannot perform her duties, has an incurable illness, or cannot bear children.

The Grave Risks of Criminal Prosecution

I want you to understand that nikah siri has no legal power. A husband who is legally married and then enters a secret polygamous union without the first wife’s knowledge is committing a crime:

Invalidity: According to Articles 2 and 5 of the Marriage Act and Article 71 of the Compilation of Islamic Law, a polygamous marriage without court permission is considered invalid.
Adultery Charges: A husband in a secret nikah siri can be charged with the crime of adultery under Article 411 of the New Penal Code (Law No. 1/2023).
Imprisonment and Fines: Under Articles 402 and 403 of the New Penal Code, a husband who practices polygamy without the consent of the legal wife and the court can face imprisonment or significant fines.

Many cases involve husbands who forge documents or claim to be single. As long as the marriage is not legally recorded, the legal wife can sue both the husband and the siri wife for infidelity.

Conclusion

A marriage is a sanctuary of Sakinah, not a game of “main cantik” to avoid getting caught. The ethical way to practice polygamy is about leadership and justice, not the evasion of responsibility. As regulated in Surah An-Nisa verse 3, if you cannot be just, one wife is more than enough to lead your soul toward grace. One wife is more than enough to bring you to Allah’s heaven.

If you liked this article, then please subscribe to our Youtube @Melek Cinta for issues of intimacy and passion in romantic relationships. You can also find us on Instagram @Ruang Cinta dan Facebook @Melek Romansa.