If you really want a successful healthy long-term relationship, you should read this article. A manifestation of love? For you and your girlfriend, that was simple. You felt a connection with her the minute you set eyes on her, and it happened almost instantly.
When it comes to seeing your life with someone else, does it matter if your love story had many ups and downs before you updated your Facebook status to be “official”? You really can’t.
The sad fact of being in a long-term, committed, and monogamous relationship is that without pulling up your sleeves and putting in the hard work necessary to make it work, well, it just won’t. You don’t doubt your connection, your ability to communicate, or the love you share.
A successful healthy long-term relationship requires continual, focused attention in order to make the years go by blissfully, even if there may be periods when you cruise through the pleasantries and coexist amicably.
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Here, experts provide their top tips for successful healthy long-term relationship from suffering because you hesitate to put the wonderful lady you have first
1. The advantages of long-term partnership
You recognize how different it feels when you finally meet a woman who makes you want to spend all of your time and energy on her, especially if you spent the great bulk of your 20s and yes, maybe even part of your 30s as a single guy.
Spending time with your girlfriend or wife is more gratifying than having a one-night fling could ever be, from the poise with which she handles difficult conversations and how admirable her work ethic is to the effortlessness with which she can pull off both a little black dress and sweats.
In fact, research shows that males in particular benefit more from being in a long-term relationship than women do from the same commitment, according to couples therapist Sarah Schewitz, Psy.D.
“Men tend to feel more melancholy than women after a divorce, or the end of a long-term relationship and get remarried faster because they enjoy so many benefits from being in a partnership”, she says.
In comparison to men who are not in partnerships, men in long-term relationships had better physical health, more happiness, more emotional support, and higher levels of sexual satisfaction. And independent of any scientific studies, having a companion in crime may generally lead to a feeling of fulfillment and contentment.
In addition to giving you more confidence in your own decisions on things other than relationships and romantic love, stability motivates you to work harder and with greater selflessness than you could otherwise.
According to psychologist Yvonne Thomas, Ph.D. of Los Angeles, being in a committed relationship is often preferable to being alone.
“A long-term partnership has several advantages. Having a sense of emotional stability and security in which you know your partner has your back and is there for you; having a meaningful, deep connection in which each partner can feel known and understood by the other; sharing a special history together; lending a hand to one another; being more driven to maintain physical and emotional health, among other things”, she says.
Extra benefit She continues by saying that being partnered up will make you live longer than being single.
2. The benefits of maintaining long-term relationships
Think of your dearest companion. He is the one who is there for you through it all, whether you need to make a considered decision, or just want to let free and drink all night. Despite the many happy experiences and memories you have together, he is also the one who may irritate you the most quickly.
Fortunately, you can call each other out without skipping a beat, but it could be more difficult to handle the ups and downs of a relationship. According to Schewitz, it’s a myth that “you shouldn’t have to try and make a relationship work”, but in fact, if you don’t stay on top of your partner’s demands and the status of your own marriage.
You risk losing her quickly. Working together to navigate the changes is the answer. Relationships go through several stages and the longer you are together, the more changes you will go through as a couple.
There may be moments when everything is simple and seems to flow naturally, but there will also be times when you question if you can or want to continue doing this. Both are typical emotions in a committed relationship, she continues.
According to Thomas, relationships frequently deteriorate when one partner (or both of you) cease providing the care and attention that is necessary for each other to be happy and healthy. Like any living thing, relationships require care and attention in order to remain not just alive but also to grow and thrive both emotionally and physically.
Without these components, long-term relationships can become monotonous;
- One or both partners may take the other for granted and not appreciate him or her;
- One or both partners may assume that the other should know what he or she needs, thinks, and/or feels without communicating these things;
- Sex can become routine and stale;
- And unresolved issues between the couple may result in issues like the construction of walls, disconnecting, grudges, resentment, upsetting feelings, and so on.
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3. Investing in your relationship (five steps)
If you’re reading this, you’re undoubtedly concerned about the amount of work you’re putting into your relationship and whether you’re on the verge of an unhappy, undesired breakup. Psychologists provide their advice on how to keep the character (and the love) of your long-term couple in order to allay your fears and draw you closer.
Never give up trying your partner
One year together already? 3-year period? Six? ten years together? Schewitz asserts that it’s critical to consistently pursue your mate, regardless of how long you’ve been together. While it’s true that you might not need to court your partner as vigorously as you did when you first met.
She does point out that many individuals equate those early butterflies with their degree of happiness in the relationship. In other words, you’ll need to constantly remind her of the things you did to win her over when you weren’t a couple in order to keep her interested in you.
Perhaps it will involve sending her a series of unannounced “Good morning, gorgeous” texts, buying the sort of orange juice she likes, or surprise her with tickets to a concert by a band she respects. Whatever the circumstance that is particular to your relationship, block out the time on your calendar so you never forget to court her.
Consider your partner first
Your partner may be more likely to remember to pick up dry cleaning, send your mother a birthday card, or renew the dog’s heartworm medicine. Furthermore, Schewitz asserts that even while you admire certain traits. You could also take them for granted.
Because of this, it’s crucial to focus your efforts on giving rather than receiving, especially as a relationship develops and matures. “Pay more attention to what you can provide to the relationship than what you can gain from it. You’ll both be taken care of and feel like a priority if both spouses put the other’s wants and happiness first”, she adds.
Prior to responding, attempt to understand.
According to Schewitz’s observations, one of the main issues that separates couples over time is their incapacity to communicate. Although arguments arise naturally when two people live together for a long time, problems might arise if you are just arguing for the sake of arguing rather than paying attention to your partner’s complaints.
“This is frequently a result of their failure to fully listen to one another and their attempt to place themselves in their partner’s shoes. They just wait for their spouse to finish speaking before responding with the thought they were considering during their partner’s speech”, she claims.
Get genuinely attentive to what your companion is saying instead. Inquire about her feelings by asking her “how does it make you feel?” and “what caused you to think that?” Before expressing your own viewpoint, attempt to put yourself in your partner’s position and truly comprehend and echo her perspective.
Prioritize spending time together
Schewitz lists the following guidelines for this quality time: no children, no family, no interruptions, just passionately looking into each other’s eyes. Or laughing so hard that you almost fall off your patio furniture. Schewitz advises scheduling a date night at least every two weeks, if not every night.
You may put aside external forces at this time and pay close attention to your own development and the progress of your relationship. This is your chance to reconnect, whether you do it by enrolling in a new class, making a reservation at your preferred dining establishment, going for a run, or slipping away to an undisturbed hotel room for sex.
Talk for 30 minutes or more every day
Thomas advises talking face to face with your partner is recommended, but if you can’t always do that, she does think a phone call is crucial. This is your chance to focus on your partner by hearing their speech, recognizing any trembles or peaks in their tone, and understanding their body language.
By doing so in these more intimate methods rather than through e-mail, text messages, or social media. You may continue to strengthen the bond between the two of you. If this is difficult on certain days, try talking to your significant other while preparing meals, doing laundry, or doing errands together, advises the expert.
Try to avoid focusing on extraneous items like your computer, phone, or television when speaking. Instead, give your partner the impression that you are interested in and paying attention to what she has to say by concentrating as much as you can on her and by reacting to what she has just said with questions, opinions, or feelings so that she feels really heard and cared for.
4. Support tool for long-term relationships
Sometimes conversation, a surprise present, and tiny or large gestures often aren’t enough to make a difference. As an alternative, you can do this to revive your partnership to its former splendor.
Yes, it is love letters
There is never a wrong time to tell her how much you love her, and how stunning you find her every single day. With this collection of sweet nothings, you have regular opportunity to give her a surprise gift of appreciation because love letters can improve your relationship.
Hopefully this article can add to your insight. Thanks for reading successful healthy long-term relationship. Like this post? You can share with your partner and your friends so they can get the same value.
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