The benefits of living independently after marriage can train your emergency sensitivity and appreciate the presence of your partner in married life. A harmonious and lasting marriage requires real cooperation from husband and wife (your ability to adjust to your partner).
Before you decide to live independently after marriage, it must be followed by financial readiness for both of you. Why? Living independently after marriage is not only paying bills and monthly household needs. But also pay rent, buy furniture, to unload savings to buy a house.
If you choose to live with your parents or parents in-laws after marriage. Of course, you can save money and also save to buy your own house. Consequently, you have to adapt to your lifestyle, house rules, and social manners at your parents or parents in-laws homes.
The benefits of living independently after marriage for the intimacy of your married life in the future
1. You are no longer dependent or troublesome to your parents.
You can show your parents or parents in-laws being able to take responsibility for your new role as husband or wife.
2. Enjoy the beautiful moments of togetherness in your marriage.
The beginning of marriage is a process where you practice each other to mature yourself to solve various kinds of problems that arise independently. The difficult times after you live apart from your parents will be hard at first.
However, the moment of living apart from parents after marriage. You also learn to be loyal to each other and provide real support in the struggle to build a married life.
The beginning of marriage can be said to be the forerunner to the creation of a solid marriage relationship with your partner. Yes, there are stories and memories that you will never forget.
3. Able to adapt more quickly to married life
This is closely related to the 2nd point above, those of you who are going through a transition period from single status to husband or wife. You will learn a lot to adjust yourself to your partner as a partner in married life.
Starting from the attitude of working together, mutual understanding, mutual empathy, to the commitment to live together and resolve conflicts. Living independently after marriage will make you learn to adapt faster to all the changes that occur.
4. Get closer and intimate with your partner
Although it was hard at first to live apart from parents after marriage. However, your time to build closeness and intimacy with your partner is more flexible than living together with your parents or parents in-laws.
The benefits of living independently after marriage, you will pay more attention to mid-long term costs after marriage
1. Housing costs
After marriage, you decide to live separately from your parents or parents in-laws. You have prepared funds that are in accordance with your financial capabilities, such as renting a low-priced apartment. If you want to have your own house, then slowly save up so you can buy it.
2. Filling the house furniture
No less important than the first point above, which is filling the furniture in the house. Of course to fill it must be adjusted to your financial capabilities. Choose those that cannot be postponed, such as tables and chairs, clothes, mattresses, tableware, kitchen utensils, cupboards, toiletries, and etc.
3. Household financial management
After marriage, don’t just think about your personal needs, but also the needs of your husband or wife and children that you need to be aware of. You have to prepare costs for daily and monthly needs, such as food costs, paying for electricity and water, telephone and internet credit, toiletries, vehicle services, and others.
Household needs require good family financial management from you. Manage your spending budget well so that you can meet your monthly household needs.
4. Saving and emergency fund
Closely related to the 3rd point above, after marriage there will be many unexpected household needs. Therefore, manage your household income and expenses well. This includes your excessive lifestyle to reduce.
In addition to saving, at the beginning of marriage, there is nothing wrong with you starting to set aside some of your salary for emergency funds and retirement. Especially, your job does not provide a pension guarantee.
5. Cost of pregnancy and childbirth
The cost of pregnancy and childbirth is no longer as cheap as it used to be. Even though it’s hard, you need to prepare funds starting from planning for pregnancy, childbirth, caring for your wife who has just given birth, and the needs of your newborn child. This includes your agreement to use a temporary contraceptive method if you want to delay pregnancy.
The benefits of living independently after marriage depend on the perspective of your partner who wants to be free from the influence of his/her family
“For me, Kei is irreplaceable – marriage is a necessary choice for us,” said Putri Mako.
Do you still remember Princess Mako who married an ordinary person? He was willing to give up his imperial Japanese member and refused a stipend of 150 million yen.
If you still remember the decision of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle who decided to leave the British royal family. Then, what is the reason they choose to live independently after marriage?
Based on the theory of the Intergenerational Solidarity Model (ISM) developed by Silverstein and Bengston in 1997, that family dynamics are influenced by six dimensions:
- Frequency of interaction between family members.
- Affectual. Feelings and affection.
- Consensual. Shared values, beliefs, and lifestyles.
- Functional. Help each other.
- Normative. Commitment to carry out their respective obligations.
Structural. Availability in terms of distance and health.
There are two dimensions that can cause a person to want to be separated from the family, namely the affectual and consensual dimensions, especially if it occurs repeatedly for a long time without being followed by tolerance and forgiveness.
In addition, there is a generational perspective between parents and children in terms of marriage and parenting. Live independently by being separated from parents or parents in-laws. Children can have full power to take care of their married life.
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